I THINK i can

the past few days ive been very very up and down in my pma and im really not sure why i feel a little bit like the lil engine that could but on that steeep steeep hill as hes trying to get up if anyone has seen it may i have my positivity back i miss it and its driving ben insane when i am down like i have been one min i am in the new flat measuring the side of our bedroom in my mind for all things baby then the next time i am oh what if the clomid dooesnt work what if it fails and i have to have ivf

THINK i have re found my pma :)

The flats begining to come together one room is wall paperd just the bedroom and hall to do then have to paint the white wall paper and get everything we need in before we move on weds! yikes busy busy few days!

I found my pma again today i think ben thinks its funny as it was when i was sat on the loo , i looked around the bathroom and smiled and said to myself this is where my babies going to be conceived ... his reply was "in the bathroom?! you kinky moo!" im sure a few babies have been conceived on a bathroom floor!

Not much to say today

Had a bit of an up down day today with my PMA so for now this is all:)

another quote i have found today

“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ~Martin Luther King Jr

Well we have our keys and all walls and floors measured now for decorating just have to get to work on making it homely looking at the size of it we will defiantly have to move when i get prenant as its too small but just right for us alone.

My fs appointment didnt go exactly how i expected she couldnt see any folicles yet and i am day 10 so was not very happy and thinks my metormin isnt doing me good so for next cycle i have 50mg of clomid and I THINK after this if no pregnancy then i have to have the hsg

A little bit excited

Today is the day we get our keys!!! wooohooo, I am so tired, sleep was not a good one last night, alot on my mind.

not much to post about this morn seen as more or less just woken up haha. Temp was extremely low this morning but its also rather cold in this flat so maybe thats why its -3.6 outside atm but feels more -5 yikes thats cold! I had a bit of a disturbed sleep too Ben says i told him i need to make up the bottles :S

New design for the new year

Ben and i have just spent the afternoon designing a new layout for the blog i think it looks rather good and everything adds to my pma:)

Pizza and wedges for dinner tonight with my metformin and a glass /bottle of water then film in bed tomorrow is a busy day! fs in the morning at 10 am and then we get the keys to our new flat!

one more quote that i love!

"Hope has two beautiful daughters - their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are." ~ St. Augustine

Ever had a dream  that you wish was real? I've had this dream about 15 times now  where i wake up in hospital drip in my hand but happy look to my side to see two little hospital cots and Ben bent over them smiling  cant really see whats in it but I'm guessing babies lol i never want to wake up from them dreams i want them to be real so bad. I am  Twin well was a twin my sister Victoria died shortly after birth  so i never got to know her, but its a fact that twins are higher risk of having twins themself id love that  but id also be very happy with just the one, im trying my best to stay positive what ever life throws at me  as postive brings positive and negative just the bad stuff one of my fave quotes is "she turned her cants into cans and her dreams into plans" and thats what im doing with my life taking the dreams and  trying my best to make them real i will have my children and i will be the best mummy i can be :)
heres my  PMA  pic number 2

New year NEW START

OK so i say this every year but THIS YEAR WILL BE MY YEAR, I've decided to start my blog again from scratch and get rid of my negativity, and i also hope to stick to this blogging lark!. August this year marks the 3rd year of us trying to conceive although officially its not been that long as i have only just got my meds for my pcos and we have had alot of problems with trying to baby dance as i suffer from a lot of pain with my joints all it takes is one false move and thats me out, but not anymore on Monday 16th Jan we get the keys to our new flat its only one bed but that is all good a baby doesnt need own room until 6 mths right? im also going to go and see an orthopaedic doctor and get tested for rheuma as its not normal to be in so much pain at just 26 years of age!

I have been giving myself a boost of pma by looking through a suitcase of baby things we have acquired over the years haha and have done myself some dream shopping just need to get some spermys now! .Have also looked into my bicornuate uterus a little more and there a very very big chance when ever i do get pregnant that it will have to be a c section birth but i am not complaining i just want to be a mummy so bad that id do what ever it takes seen as with my bcu there is also at least a 40% chance of miscarriage too and late miscarriage lol i do not do things easily but i will not give up until i have my little Emily or Maxxi in my arms:)

This is my PMA Picture of the day